Introduction
Post-secondary can be a daunting time for students, they must adjust to a new and unfamiliar environment. For many students there are academic demands, new roles and learner identities to be negotiated, and separation from established relationships with family and friends.1 These changes and feelings of overwhelmingness can have a significant impact on a student’s mental health. A sense of belonging can make an individual feel valued, accepted, and it can be facilitated through social, academic and professional interactions.2 If strong friendships and peer support are key to a successful transition into post-secondary, it stands to reason that students who face challenges in forming peer relationships may struggle with adjustment. Research indicates that isolation, loneliness, and a lack of social integration are common factors contributing to student attrition.2
Students who had stronger relationships with peers demonstrated higher levels of adjustment to post-secondary, whereas students who reported experiencing problematic relationships had lower adjustment.2
What is a Platonic Relationship
According to Weger et al.1 a healthy platonic friendship is one where two people share a deep sense of care and support for each other, but without any romantic or sexual feelings involved. For post- secondary students, these types of friendships are crucial—they provide a foundation of trust, emotional support, and camaraderie, all of which are key to navigating the challenges of their educational life.
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships
| Healthy Relationships ✅ | Unhealthy Relationships ❌ |
| Equality – Both partners share power and effort in the relationship. | Control – One partner dominates, makes decisions, or controls the other. |
| Honesty – Open, truthful communication about feelings and concerns. | Gaslighting – One partner manipulates the other into doubting their reality. |
| Being Yourself – You feel comfortable and don’t have to change who you are. | Humiliation – Name-calling, put-downs, or embarrassment in front of others. |
| Open Communication – Partners listen to each other’s thoughts and feelings. | Blame – One partner always makes the other feel guilty for problems. |
| Respect – Kindness, support, and consideration for each other’s feelings. | Pressure – One partner forces the other to do things they aren’t comfortable with. |
| Safety – Emotional and physical security without fear of harm. | Threats – Using fear, guilt, or harm (physical or emotional) to control the partner. |
| Support – Encouragement and care for each other’s goals and well-being. | Unpredictability – Walking on eggshells due to frequent mood swings or anger. |
| Trust – Dependability, honesty, and keeping each other’s best interests in mind. | Physical Abuse – Hitting, pushing, destroying belongings, or any violence. |
Kids Help Phone3
Impact on Mental Health and Academics
Forming new friendships and relationships can impact a student’s mental health and academics in many ways.Klaiber et al.4 finds that conflict in a relationship can cause stress and tension, which can impact productivity, and managing feelings can get overwhelming. A positive relationship can help students maintaining academic success, productivity, and positive mental health.
Conflicts can arise from miscommunication, differing academic priorities, roommate issues, or disagreements over cleanliness, noise, and schedules, all of which can impact mental health and focus. Jealousy or exclusion may lead to resentment if one friend spends more time with others. A lack of support during stressful times can create emotional distance, while competition for opportunities may cause tension and comparison.
There is a positive correlation between self-esteem and peer attachment, where individuals who have high self-esteem hold a more positive attitude toward themselves, have greater confidence, and have a stronger ability to form healthy peer relationships.1 This is important as students with lower self-esteem may become involved in toxic friendships, perceiving them as normal or thinking they deserve to be treated that way.
Promoting Healthy Relationships on Campus
Making friends in post-secondary can feel intimidating at first, but there are many opportunities to connect. Many institutions provide blogs and articles with tips on making friends on campus.
Easy ways to get involved:
- Join clubs, sports teams, or orientation events.
- Find groups that align with your interests (e.g., craft clubs, intramural sports).
In class:
- Start a conversation with the person next to you.
- Use simple icebreakers like discussing the class or course material.
Living on campus:
- Leave your door open to encourage socializing (if permitted due to fire hazards).
- Participate in residence floor events to meet new people.
Social media can be a great tool:
- Many institutions have online groups where students can connect before arriving on campus.
Being proactive, open to new experiences, and attending events can make forming friendships a more enjoyable part of post-secondary. Healthy platonic relationships can help individuals reduce their anxiety and feelings of isolation and loneliness. The lack of social support is a determinant of mental health which may include, depressive symptoms among post-secondary students.
Many institutions have taken the opportunity to create blogs and posts talking about ways students can make friends on campus and expand their social circle.
Making friends at university | Undergraduate Programs | University of Waterloo
How to Make Friends in Post-secondary – Student Blog – Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU)
Friendships and Connections – Students | University of Saskatchewan
Resources to share:
Social Engagement – Centre for Innovation in Campus Mental Health
The Social Engagement resource from the Centre for Innovation in Campus Mental Health helps students overcome barriers to socializing by providing strategies for joining clubs, attending events, and building confidence in conversations. It also highlights the importance of friendships in supporting mental wellbeing.
CICMH-Graduate-Student-Mental-Health_Toolkit.pdf
The Graduate Student Mental Health Toolkit is particularly useful for students facing academic stress, anxiety, or burnout, which can make socializing difficult. It offers self-care strategies, time management tips for balancing academics and social life, and guidance on finding peer support or mentorship opportunities.
This resource emphasizes the role of community and belonging in well-being, providing culturally inclusive approaches to forming friendships. It encourages students to seek out support networks, such as cultural centers or student groups, to foster meaningful connections. Together, these resources provide a well-rounded approach to helping students build and maintain strong platonic friendships while navigating post-secondary life.
References
- Weger H Jr, Cole M, Akbulut V. Relationship maintenance across platonic and non-platonic cross-sex friendships in emerging adults. J Soc Psychol. 2019;159(1):15-29. doi:10.1080/00224545.2018.1439876.[↩][↩][↩]
- Maunder RE. Students’ peer relationships and their contribution to university adjustment: the need to belong in the university community. J Furth High Educ. 2018;42(6):756-768. doi:10.1080/0309877X.2017.1311996.[↩][↩][↩]
- Healthy relationships vs. unhealthy relationships [Internet]. Kids Help Phone; 2023 [cited 2025 Mar 26]. Available from: https://kidshelpphone.ca/get-info/healthy-relationships-vs-unhealthy-relationships#:~:text=In%20healthy%20relationships%20between%20intimate,guilty%2C%20ashamed%20and%20even%20unsafe.[↩]
- Klaiber P, Whillans AV, Chen FS. Long-term health implications of students’ friendship formation during the transition to university. Appl Psychol Health Well-Being. 2018;10(3):290-308. doi:10.1111.[↩]
