Having a chronic health condition can be an isolating experience, especially when faced with stigma or stigmatizing conversations (Jennings Edquist, 2023). A lot of the time, responses to having chronic health conditions are meant well, but they are extremely unhelpful to those who hear it. Questioning whether things are “really that bad” or asking if they have tried “yoga” or “eating better” invalidates the experience of chronic health conditions and minimizes the toll it has on a person. Here are some general considerations to keep in mind if a student discloses having a chronic health condition or any experiences revolving it (Baron-Williams, 2024; Jennings-Edquist, 2023):
Do Not:
- Assume you know everything about the experience, even if you personally know someone who has had the same chronic health condition. Try to avoid statements like “I understand” if you personally do not have experience of a chronic health condition.
- Give unsolicited advice or suggestions unless specifically asked. Even then, acknowledge that their story and history with the health condition can be different.
- Question their experience, especially if you have the same chronic health condition. Different people may go through it and cope with it differently.
- Oversimplify the experience or approach it with only positivity. Acknowledging the hard and complex aspects of having a chronic health condition is okay.
Do:
- Offer to listen to what it is like to have a chronic health condition and ask questions about how it impacts their life if they are comfortable disclosing (Note: Students do not have to share what their diagnosis is, nor do they have to disclose anything if they choose not to)
- Ask what the best way would be for them to feel supported
- Ask about how things are going instead of pretending things are okay, especially if you are aware of the health condition.
“But despite all the ways people put their proverbial feet in it, the response that bothers me most is silence. Radio silence, sometimes from long-term friends or relatives – people who already know I’ve been on a merry-go-round of surgeries and drug infusions – but haven’t once asked after my health” – Grace Jennings-Edquist (Jennings-Edquist, 2023)
You can read more about how best to talk about someone’s chronic health condition in Grace’s article: ‘Silence can be incredibly hurtful’: How to talk to someone about their chronic illness
